Since everyone else has had their turn at taking “pot-shots” at poor
General Shinseki and SMA Tilley for their decision in taking away the Ranger’s
black beret and adopting it as the new official US Army
headgear, allow me to fire a few volleys and explain why I think they chose the Ranger’s black
beret instead of another.
As you’re probably aware, the Army has three different types of berets.
The red belongs to our Airborne Forces, the green to Special Forces, and the black belongs to the Rangers.
Or I should say "it did belong to them.”
Now out of all three of these forces, which one has the least amount of
troops assigned to them. Ding! The Rangers - approximately 2,000
soldiers. (Note: This number reflects only those who are currently assigned to a
ranger unit and not those who attended Ranger school, earned the tab
and are serving elsewhere in the Army. They’re not authorized to wear
the Ranger black beret.)
Now, if you were a “chair-borne” general or sergeant major at the Pentagon and had to take a striking traditional headgear away from one of these
three elite forces which one would you choose and why?
Ding! The Rangers, because there are fewer troops assigned to them than
the other forces. While there are only about 5,000 troops assigned to
Special Forces, there are approximately 20,000 troops in our Airborne forces.
Thereby tactically it would be easier to deal with 2,000 angry Rangers
instead of 5,000 Special Forces or 20,000 angry paratroopers.
Personally, I think the Pentagon should allow the Rangers to keep their
historical and traditional black berets and choose another color. You
know, something the troops would be proud to wear. Well, I thought I had the solution for the army, a camouflage beret.
But
then they’d have to issue the troops two different types or one that’s
reversible so it can be worn in the woods and the desert too. But
according to a source that I know in the manufacturing business, it costs more
to produce a multi-colored camouflage or desert beret than a single color
beret. Nope, the Army's not going too for that - they can't waste money on an
entirely new beret that cost more than the others.
Hmmm, now let me see, what other color could they use. I got it! What
about a brown beret!? Yea! That sounds like a winner.
It’s a single color, so it won’t cost anymore than the others, and it’s currently not being worn
by anyone in Army or the other services.
Oh-oh, wait a minute, don’t the Girl Scout “Brownies” wear this color
beret? Yep, they sure do, and I’ll bet the Pentagon’s intelligence branch
thought of this and advised General Shinseki not to even think about adopting
the Girl Scout's beret color.
Gosh, do you know how many Girl Scout/Brownies there are in the United
States of America? There’s a whole lot more of them than all the Army
Rangers, Special Forces, Airborne and other armed forces combined.
Yep, good decision, general, in not adopting the Girl
Scout's beret color. You don’t want to mess with
them - no sir! And besides, we like their cookies and don't want them to logistically
cut us off from these vital supplies, mmm-mmm. Not only would it be
tactically unfeasible, (outnumbered), but the troops would have to put up with all
the jokes that come with it. Such as;
"What’s the different between the Army and the Girl Scout/Brownies?
The Brownies have adult supervision."
Or
"ding-dong," (someone's door bell rings), “I'll get
it, honey." "I’m sorry
but we've already bought some… Oops! Excuse me, I thought you were a Girl
Scout/Brownie selling cookies door-to-door. I thought you looked a
bit too tall and old to be selling...”
Yep, now I can see why they chose the black beret as the new standard
US Army headgear. It's the least expensive beret to manufacture and
has the least
amount of soldiers that would complain about it. Duh!
Boy, I’m glad I’m not in General
Shinseki's, SMA Tilley's and the 75th
Ranger Regimental CSM Rako’s shoes right now. What’s next on their agenda,
"Ranger School by correspondence course?"
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